why dont you live?

if i could tell myself this in an out of body expericence
i would and at times i wish i had some one tell me this..
but ive found this out through life -

you are not the only one with problems.

you see the difference between you and everyone else isthey dont let their problems( their hurts) define their lives.. move past it and live these things arnt the death of you. they're just the beginning of a new movement in your life.

and if you think that they do i assure you they arnt as happy as they could be..


and on another note who cares about everyone else

if everyone else is miserable
why be the same
be your own hero

why dont you live?

Peace of heart

at certain times in my life

there have been moments

when i've just wanted

to scream

out loud

expose the murmers of my heart

in one instance

i remember a time when i felt very alone

and i was tired of trying to not be alone, i had given up.

today

i was sitting on the couch in my den thinking

about what my heart would scream if i gave it a voice

i would escape to some forest

and say

i just want to be loved!

but i can imagine

even in my isolation

gods creation echoing back to me

i love you

.

i read a childrens book once

its by max lucado

honestly i think its the best book every written

but in it he says that our human hearts couldnt contain all the

love god has for us

so

made his creation the nature we see

he made it for us to see the beauty in it

as a reminder of all the love he has for us

if i ran out to a forest

and my heart sang of its troubles

if i stopped for a moment and looked around & listened

i could hear the echoing of

God

serenading my heart

reminding me

im loved

simple truths that complex my life

i just like the title.

i'll write later haha.

maybe a book idea??

hmmm

searching for a reason to search

i dont have much to say


well that could be a lie


...
we'll see
i just have a simple idea concept
id like to throw your way
catch it or .. not lol
..
sometimes the most meaningful moments in our lives
come when we
find we dont want them to be meaningful at the time..


bear with me


life is full of trials but while we're in them we
dont always think
" this is honestly fantastic"
unless you lie to your self ...
alot
lol
that is an unnatural response


mostly its because we can see the end
we can see the beauty in the trial
.. while we're in the trail
all we can see is
that it sucks
making us miserable


My friend best friend john has taught me a few things
out of them
1 recently being that


we can always see the end of a situation but we can have faith & believe
that we'll make it there
if we try.
now
that " if we try"
is a very important part in this rant of mine lol
because if we dont try we're just dreamers who never woke up
.. we're like alice stuck in a trippy wonderland

theres a difference between Dreaming & believing


dreaming is a hope or wish with out action
believing is having faith that dream will happen and moving in that faith.


everyone needs a dream of some sort
but more than that
we need to believe that to get to the end
we need to know
that its worth it
and that we arnt better off with out it

( i say we because.. mostly when I'm writing these.. im not just talking to hear my self talk. im saying we because I'm alive just as your alive .. because your reading this..unless your a zombie.. in that case stop haha. annyways. but im still learning things everyday just like you. i
say that to say this)


not matter what your situation is
if you've just given up on trying in life

given up on a dream
been hurt

your not alone
because "we"
isnt just you
its you and me

"hey brother do you remember when"

memories
can be interesting things.
I was watching "the eye" which is a remake of a Japanese horror film

.. something like that
well simply put.
a blind person gets a cornea transplant for her eyes.
soo she can now see. but she gets the horror filled memories of the previous owner.

not a fan of the movie i stopped watching it haha.

but it got me thinking

I remember one of the 1st lessons i learned in 11Th grade history was
something I'm sure I've heard before.

From what i can remember it was during the 1st week of school
and after the bustle of the class change. My teacher approaches the podium he asks the class " what is the point of studing history"

and the answer was, we study history so we can learn from the mistakes of the past so

we dont repeat them.

memories are kindof the same.

except memories have emotion.
why?

.. beacause you were there.
sometimes when i think of the cruelty we've learned
that occurs in the world.. i try to relate emotionally and mentally

thats the point if we see and begin to understand the cruelties of something
and the thought of that happening again is far from where we want it .
. we've just

proved the point of learning about the past.. so we can change the future for the better.

i can remember a relationship.
i can remember how my heart felt around this person
i can remember the simple things that made my day
i can
also remember the pain in my heart after i let being with that person control my happiness
i realized this after we broke up.

i can learn so much more from my own personal memories, experiences
than what someone else tells me from theirs.

if i forget what ive learned
whats to say
it might not happen again?

I've always tried to learn something new every day

and

its very possible if you just stop and think

but im sure i've forgot some of the lessons I learn day after

day but

if i stop trying to remember

chances are

i'll be reminded

Explanation

if you're wondering.

why my blog is titled " i can only speak about what i know"

well i was thinking before i normally kep my writings online

i asked myself why would i write a blog

i was thinking about it and it felt like god was asking me 2 questions

what would you tell them.

and

what do you know.

thinking about that on another note

its kinda like what christianity is knowing a truth.

living life based on that truth.

and telling other people about it.

i think Daniel Floyd the sweett pastor of Lifepoint church

said something to the effect of

im not going to tell you something im not believing and not acting on myself

and

thats to the effect of what i stand for in my writing

im not going to write about something i dont know about.

like..gossip

dumb lol

im going to write about things that have happened in my life

and how they made me feel what i think about them.

because for sure..i know about my own feelings and my own experiences

more than anyone in this world.

so im not going to type up a whiny blog about how some

one hurt me or what i think some one was thinking when they slipped up in their life.

one.

thats not my place.

its no ones place to judge any one else.

that belongs to the one who ultimately created them.

god.

and i have no right to over step him in anyway.

our lives are full of choices

just as they are experiences

and we can choose to forget them.

feel bad about them or learn from them.

this is me writing to you about the latter.

just to hear

lately

i really have alot of ideas to elaborate on

honestly.

I'm feeling lazy

I see and hear inspiration all around me

in situations in songs in nature.

but im just so

lazy

maybe one day soon i'll just wake up after a nightt of conversating ( conversing whichever) with god

and just jump to a computer and type away.

well that day could be tomorrow.

but more than hoping for that.

im hoping and desiring for .

is god to speak to me.

i'd rather have that than a new yorks best seller

or a million compliments on who i am

and thats the only thing

just to hear him say well done

just to hear him speak