What could be worse

What could be worse selfpity 
or denial? 


Ones a ticking bomb &


 the other is just a distraction from the truth.

questions

Name one thing you love about winter?

the sky when its not all cloudy

at night its intoxicating if you can brace the cold to enjoy it

long enough. its what makes it that much better

Do you have a hard time letting go?

i have a hard time not bringing it back up initially its easy at first

but then i over think it

Reason behind the last time you cried really hard?

a beautiful realization

Do you believe that there's good in everybody?

always some people have just covered it up or denied it

over time

Do you prefer to write in pen or pencil?

pen

but i when i mess up i get a little ocd when i write letters lol

which  i enjoy alot

.....

comment your answers? i'd love to hear them  :)

well said Mr. King

i over heard some talk radio 

in the kitchen 

today

being martin luther king day

 all they could rant 

about 

was 

that if MLK was around he would'nt be a  supporter  of 

the obama admistration 

& that he was a conservative.

making all of the assumptions.

i know it stired up some conversation

that someone will quote when they encounter 

their next liberal.

but honestly what's the point in that?

based on his beliefs 

yes 

he would probably be a conservative.

but i'm sure he wouldnt have cared 

so why should we 

add to

all of the mess 

why should 
the beliefs of a good man be thrown aside 
just to further a division.

“Nothing in the world is more dangerous than sincere ignorance and consciencious stupidity.”

well said Mr. King

a new vessel a better story go live

"invite other characters to play parts in your story."

thats one thing i've done less & less of

i remember reading in donald millers
book how that he explained loneliness & fear


 " Loneliness is something that came with the fall.  If loving other people is a bit of heaven than 
certainly isolation is a bit of hell, and to that degree, here on earth, we decide in which state we would like to live."

"fear is a manipulative emotion that can trick us into living a boring life." 

& it made alot of sense


&i realized


i had let both things manifest in my life


but this ("invite other characters to play parts in your story.")


this is one concept
that over time i lost


i stop invited people in to my story


if they happened along into my life


they just happened their way in


then happened their


 way out because


i never let them invest in my story


or i never genuinely invested in theirs 


distance being a factor ( in reality & in my mind)


what they knew about me
 was


what i told them


or what they would read into about me.


i could keep them at a distance


so that i way i wouldnt 


get hurt


which is selfish


thats no way to live


fear isnt a scale
permanently on our eyes


how could anyone learn to trust
me if


i'm not willing to trust them

 enough


to 
consistently be: 


 transparent


honest


an empty vessel


willing to be pour out &filled over & over again
that my soul purpose is to pour out
&


seek those opportunites to


invest in some one elses life.


I heard a great pastor
say
 that until the pain of staying the same overcomes the pain of change
you will never change.


change is necessary
its healthy


& now that this vessel has
found its use 


its scars been 
healed


a new vessel


ready &
  willing


to start a new chapter
&


live a better story

dont let whats in your past
fear
hurts
regrets
doubts
dictate where you'll go 


  go live
your life is worth it

we learn & we grow

"little kids are so impressionable"


i had a video on my cell phone of my friend


sneaking up and startling his  much younger sister


& i showed it to the 2 year old little girl my mom i look after
& we all laughed for a moment as she
ran in to & out of the kitchen screaming & laughing


mimicking what she saw in the video


she was doing it her way


but she wasnt startling us


she was making us laugh & herself  laugh


this is what in the 1st place caught her attention


the video made her laugh & us laugh


so she liked that we laughed so
 she recreated it.


its alot like how


we live


we see the ( positive or negative) social effects of wearing a certain style of clothing
& the reviews we get


we see the social effects it has when your around of group of people who
use profanity


we see the emotional effects when we make someone smile
or laugh


or cry


we learn these things in life
how we affect it.


&
at times its easy to think


that if we dont in some way


we arnt benefiting ?


that because we cant have and effect in any way ( positive or negative)


we must not be doing the right things


but what if we changed how we viewed our selves


what if we changed how we viewed


our lives ?


what if we werent so busy worrying about


what to wear next week that


we thought about how someone else would dress


with a low flow of income & donated what we have


that we dont seem to need to someone who would.


what if we didnt care about the latest craze


in our group of friends that we took the time
to discover what we truly


liked
 instead of letting everyone else choose for us


what if we spent one day for
solely for


the benefit of others


to make someone else smile


& at the end of the day


found what truly

is important to us

more than ourselves : we are

why
are we so open to tell our feelings
but not
about what the real problem is


is it that on the surface we just want attention


or deep down to we really want to be understood
or is that the last thing we want


some one to know too much about who we
really are 
when we dont even know


all we know is
what we like & what we tell everyone that we dont


feeding on the social buzz


leaning on every fake smile


fueling the fire of a public life
dousing the flames of individuality


hoping that some how it'll all be real
when we're just
feeding the facade of


fake friends
taking love out of context 
out of
heart


living for the words that just fall out of our mouths
& are sent out before we even thought about
anyone anyone else
but our selves


who are we


that we want things here & now that
we're willing to sacrifice truth & honesty
& true originality
to meet a demand for what we want


who are we
who are we becoming ?


look around
this is our generation


we can always change it


we can become trustworthy individuals 


& those people who just need 
to reveal the pains of their 
inner self 
waiting to come into the light 


can


& we can all start 
to live 


honestly 
&
truthfully 
to the best of our abilities 


for something more than ourselves 

endless wonder

isn't it nice to look up at the stars on a clear night

& feel so small 

& at any moment they could fall out of the sky..

 but they don't

 and you get to enjoy them.

& if you're a believer to know that great infinite god who created all of this earth

knows exactly where you are.

and that your admiring his creation  while he's taking delight in his

that all around us is a reminder.

not that that tree over there is god.

but that he

made this dwelling place for us

he poured out his love to create us & even more

 to give us a place of endless wonder.

if you think that it is or not.

i find a lot of things beautiful. 

my definition of beautiful might be different than yours

but when i look up

& i see a 100 stars shimmering held in place by a god

who knows true beauty

i cant help but feel a peace in my soul 

and to me thats beautiful